Comments on: Abusive Relationships: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

By: Linda

Linda — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 23:31:59 +0000

Dr. Is right people do not change normally. I am in same situation. They can me nice guy when they are not angry. But this will not change. I was very confused in the relationship, when he is not angry he would tell me he love me, stick with him, he will always take care of me. But you never know when he going to upset at you. Because I do not have place to go. So I stayed. But things just repeat and repeat and get worse. Finally one day I scape out. I am on my own now. He tired email me many time a day ask me go back, he love me he want change. I am not go back with him. After I read this.
Thank you DR. KC

By: Doc KC

Doc KC — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:37:08 +0000

Dear Ann,

The link should work now, but just in case, here it is again.

Email the Doctor
All my best,
Dr. KC

By: Ann

Ann — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 19:19:50 +0000

Thank you, I tried to follow the link but I get an error.

By: Doc KC

Doc KC — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:48:32 +0000

Dear Ann,

You are most certainly in a difficult situation that no woman should ever have to live through. I think it’s great that you’re reaching out. and you sound like a wonderful mother.

I would love to discuss this further with you in a one on one discussion, as there are many things to consider and figure out and that cannot be done here in this public forum. If you would like, please write to me here and we can discuss this in depth.

I do wish you all the best,
Dr. KC

By: ann

ann — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 14:28:20 +0000

Dr. Kelly,
I could really use some non associated feedback. I have been with my husband for fourteen years. However, I am several years younger than he is. Half of my life has been spent with him and now I am at a loss. No longer is it just me that deals with his issues I also have younger children who can tell that his behavior is not normal. I am faced with the fact that if I leave my children will still have to visit him alone on weekends. And that is not acceptable. They do not want to be alone without me to run interference. He is not exactly physically abusive toward me, he doesn’t leave bruises. He has hit me once before we were married and almost knocked me out. Now the “abuse” (I feel so wierd calling it that) is mostly screaming, putting me down, and occasionally he will squeeze or do something that will deliberatly hurt me. Like I said he doesn’t leave bruises. He has told me that if he caught me trying to lookup ways on the internet to get a divorce he would kill me. He has also threatend to kill my mother. He doesn’t just say hey I will kill you, he actually tells me how he is going to do it. As bad as it may be to stay, I know it could be even worse if I leave. I’m not sure how the legal system works and I dont’ want to take the chance of him getting visitation without supervision. That is the possibility that keeps me here. I have to put my children first and right now I feel extrememly stuck. Do I leave and take a chance that they will end up spending some time alone with him? Or do I stay and know that every morning and night is going to be hell for us? He has stopped the counsiling that he was supposed to get and he tells us that he loves us. I know love isn’t this, yet I do believe that he does care for us. When he has the crazy episodes his eyes actually look crazy, he isn’t the same person and I wonder if he is going to completely snap one day soon. I’m sick of being afraid of going to sleep at night and I hate waking up being screamed at in the morning. He says so many different things that I can’t even really make sense of them anymore as you can probably tell by my writing. One minute he hates me and wants me to take the kids and get the “f!@# out” and another he wants us to stay and he’ll kill me if I leave. He also threatens to burn the house down all the time. I know the situation is bad and I know that if anyone else were in it I would whole heartedly tell them to leave. I just can’t take the chance that the kids will pay the price for my wrong decision. I can’t take the chance that they will be stuck alone with him. I don’t know what to do. Please send advice, thank you.

By: Doc KC

Doc KC — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 01:43:15 +0000

Dear Kate,

I’m glad you wrote in with your concerns. It shows that you are a strong woman who knows how she should be treated. You have all the answers within you and you know what is best for you in the short and long run.

If you would like to discuss your situation more in depth to help you find some answers, please feel free to write to me here.

I know you will make the right decision for yourself and (possibly with a little help) be on the path to the happy and healthy life you deserve.

All my best,
Dr. KC

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 20:47:55 +0000

I realize these posts are from some time ago, but I found them extremely helpful. I think I might be in an emotionally abusive relationship, but am not sure as it is not so much angry outbursts and I am not afraid of him, but I am constantly dealing with mean, demeaning and generally odd behaviour from my spouse. For example, he tells me I am a bad wife for going out with my friends, that he is worried what will happen when I get old/fat, calling me “yappy” even though an am an unusually quiet person, telling people that I was a model (a lie) and that all I do is shop (also a lie–I have a very serious and accomplished intellectual career, as does he), making lurid sexual comments about my mother, and groping me in public even though I am very obviously uncomfortable, to name a few problems. When I put up with one or more of these things, he seems to find something new that will upset me. Most importantly, I should add, these are all in the guise of a “joke” as he says, and when I get upset after he’s said them numerous times he says I am just too sensitive. Perhaps stupidly, I then question myself. I love him, of course, and he is a brilliant and often generous and kind man, which his why I feel so torn. We were recently married, and I never thought I would be divorced, yet I don’t want to waste my life being so sad. He has also told me he was abused as a child, though he now refuses to discuss it with me or anyone else. Is this a lost cause? Am I over reacting? Please advise. Most sincere thanks.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:11:47 +0000

I did really like your post…

By: Doc KC

Doc KC — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:46:10 +0000

Dear Shirley,

I will certainly take a look at that that URL link, but will respect your wishes and will not post it here. Please look for my response on your site. Thank you for reaching out to me. Together, I do hope we can help this woman in need.

All my very best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

By: Doc KC

Doc KC — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:44:04 +0000

Dear Dan,

It would be my pleasure to link up with your website. Any educational information we can share with others is wonderful.

Please view http://www.GLCzone.com as well and add your blogs there. Please encourage other health blog writers to visit that site as well.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com