I’m very glad that you found me and happy to have you here! Thank you for your comment! Your ideas are incredibly thought provoking. Please look for my article, Defining Self-Esteem: Is it Possible? I give the credit of its inspiration and creation to you! Please let me know if you would like me to add a link to your name in my article.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

Found your work through a Facebook friend and student of mine(I have a practice helping men with social skills issues, etc)

I have pondered the whole idea of “having self-esteem” and I think it is less than useful. It makes “self esteem” about an ill-defined quality of personality that you have in certain “amounts”, like gas in your tank.

What I find more useful is breaking it down or unpacking it into several sub-skills, each of which can be practiced. These are:

1. A good process for rapidly learning from mistakes, and also seeing what you are doing well.

2. A process for gaining insight into stuck patterns of thinking, and feeling and emoting AS they are still subtly arising, before they take on what I call cognitive inertia and neurological momentum. Before they can drive behavior and distort perception.

3. A process for finding contentment independent of external circumstances and external validation.

4. Related to #3, a process for holding to and owning a vision that is NOT dependent on external validation, circumstances, etc, and yet remains open to learning from the environment.

5. A process for a validating, learning-affirming explanatory style-if you aren’t where you want to be, it’s not about your identity or your fate-it’s about finding the right tools, the right team, and the right technology.

6. Finally a process/practice for physically caring for oneself in a healthy way.

I think “self esteem” is sort of a pop-psych “artifact” that has little referent in measurable reality. Where was it in the human psyche or experience before some person coined the term? It is an abstraction and a nominalization that keeps people more stuck chasing their introspective belly-buttons than it helps move them to more joyous and fulfilled lives. At least in my personal teaching and training experience.

Love to know your thoughts,

Ross Jeffries
sandworm77@ca.rr.com

Thank you most sincerely for this very sweet comment! I hope you’ll come back and read more! The writing has been slow lately due to other pressing priorities, but it will never cease, so you can expect another article soon.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

As a doctor, I think it is important to share hints of myself on occasion. That makes clients/blog readers feel more comfortable opening up as they know I am human too.

Thank you for your kind words. Keep up the fabulous work that you’re doing on yourself! I couldn’t be more proud of the way you put yourself out there and continuously work to be a better YOU! I think you’re fabulous as well.

All my best,
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com

I have devoted this summer to working on my self esteem. I am working on a work book and a paperback both designed to help me with my self esteem. I have a problem with rejection and feeling inferior. This is the next step in what I have been working on for me. Over the last year and a half, I have gone from living the life others thought I should to really looking at what makes me feel alive and going for that. I find the more authentic I am the more alive I am too. I don’t think anyone can truly reach the top of the pyramid you talk about. We are always changing as individuals. I believe because of that, we will always have things to learn about ourselves. I’m glad you got closer to the top.

I’m curious about you stepping out of your comfort zone. Any hints? How did you push yourself out of that zone? What you described reminds me of my deep desire to become more intimate with my hub. I learned that if I wanted more intimacy, I had to give it which was where I had to leap out of my comfort zone. For me it proved to be a great leap of faith and now the hub and I are in a great place and my passion for life is bubbling like a shaken can of soda. It was a total God thing that it all worked out.

Thanks for the peak into your life. You’re incredible!

Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad you found me too and that my words are such an inspiration to you! I also hope you find http://www.GLCzone.com to be a helpful, fun and educational experience as well.

Please come back, read, and comment any time!

Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
http://www.GLCzone.com